Weird that there's Internet here at the wake. Close family members have arrived. Some neighbors. Other people I don't know. My nieces and nephews are here. Some relatives are playing cards. I accompany my sister to Dangwa and buy flowers, peanuts, bread, whatnot. In a way everything feels normal, like nothing unfortunate has happened, but the void is felt by everyone, the coffin in front of us making it evident. I take a peek at my mom's face. She looks different. I wonder why dead people look different. I look at her again, then I look away again to fight back tears. I know I told her before how much I love her, but why is it that nothing is ever enough? Why does it feel like I have let her down?
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
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