Cloud Catalog #60.

Very very useful in the days to come.

Cloud Catalog #59.

GORDO AND LIZZIE FOREVER ♥♥♥

Cloud Catalog #58.

Pinapanood ko si J magbalat ng ponkan. Yung tinatanggal niya yung puti-puti tas hinihimay-himay. Ayan, ngumunguya na siya ngayon.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA KADIRE 'TONG POST NA 'TO, PLEASE. PAKA-STALKER. WOEANONGAYON NASA LIKOD KO LANG NAMAN SIYA HAHAHA K, BALIK TRABAHO KAIRITA.

*PS jusko ampogi niya ngayon pero ang juba juba LOL baka mabasa niya 'to so just to clarify, hindi naman siya majuba. chubi chubi lang. chubi chubi, ganyan. chub chaser!

Cloud Catalog #57.

Alam mong naghihirap na ako kapag:

(1) Kadiri na yung kinakain ko (tulad nung mga calamares na tinitinda sa kalsada)

(2) Nangungutang na ako sa ate ko (dati ako yung inuutangan niya!)

(3) Hindi ako nagbabayad sa dyip kahit may pambayad (e makakalusot naman!)

(4) Inom ako nang inom nang tubig (glug glug)

(5) Hindi na nagtetext (duh walang load)

(6) Nagtetext through Gmail (duh wala ngang load)

(7) Internet nang Internet hanggang sa maging sabaw (libre naman ang Internet sa bahay, hindi nga lang makadownload)

(8) Naghahabol ng mga may utang (tang ina niyo!)

(9) Nagsosorry sa mga inutangan (huhu sowee pohz)

(10) Nagbablog na lang (dahil walang pamasahe para makipagkita sa mga kaibigan)

Ang ibig sabihin niyan, naghihirap ako ngayon! Donasyon naman dyan, guys! XD

Cloud Catalog #56.

It's been raining on and off since this morning, and I wish the weather will just make up its mind. My poor shoes have holes, I need a new bag and a pair of eyeglasses, I am dying for a yearlong rest, and god knows stuff I want to accomplish if only I were not this lazy and stressed and tired and down and out. Yes, rain, you're not helping.

Work is becoming unbearable, and adding insult to injury, we'll be given four essays every day to proofread starting next week. God, torture. Just the thought of it is making me want to plank on the sidewalk.

What made me happy today, considering that our office network blocks everything I like including lyrics sites, is that I was able to download some bootlegs from The National gigs, particularly The Black Sessions and The White Sessions, recorded sometime in 2007. The former is heavy on Alligator material while the latter is on Boxer. Loved them both. I told Ali that The National concert I attended last year is one of the most life-affirming moments I ever had. It's true. To quote Vonnegut, everything was beautiful and nothing hurt. What would I give to see them again and have the chance to hear "Looking for Astronauts," "City Middle," "Driver, Surprise Me," or "The Geese of Beverly Road."

I once created a list of my top five songs by The National and it was hell difficult. The only thing I'm certain about it is that it will change every time. For instance, I am confident now saying that "Baby We'll Be Fine" is my all-time favorite The National song. Seriously. It hits me so hard I sometimes avoid listening to it. The live performance above is inferior to the studio version, but that bit at the end is nothing short of amazing. Enjoy, as I bury my face into these revisions, wanting to slash my wrists. I hate work!

Cloud Catalog #55.

Twitter works for me and I like how it keeps me informed and entertained at the same time but I keep checking it consciously and unconsciously that it takes up a lot of my energy, which I wish would be channeled to far more important things. I always end up loathing myself for wasting time browsing through my timeline and clicking nonstop. USELESS! UGH. The perils of social networking. I need to make a compromise. By the way, I'm enjoying this renewed love for Blogspot. Don't you all miss circa 2004-2008 blogging? When everyone took the time to leave comments and strike up conversations?

Cloud Catalog #54.

Peter Silberman recorded this beautiful album when he was twenty-one. I turn to it every time I feel lonely and it works all the time. I snap without really snapping.

Cloud Catalog #53.

Nothing irks me more than having a superior ask me to rewrite a very difficult double-passage. Fuck it, OK.

Cloud Catalog #52.

Sometimes I have this strong hunch that I will never feel better again, that I have already had the happiest moments of my life and all that follows after them is a collection of harmless but razor-sharp fragments of utter loneliness.

To those who left unintentionally, and to those who didn't~

Cloud Catalog #51.

...the many hours you waste thinking you will reach the finish line soon and say, "I made it."

Cloud Catalog #50.

I don't exaggerate when I say that this is the best piece of music I've listened to so far this year. Tangina, ang ganda ganda. Walang basura, walang laylay. Pag naging musikero ako, gusto ko ganitong tunog.

Cloud Catalog #49.

THIS.

AND I GO:

XOXO

Cloud Catalog #48.

It's so easy to laugh, it's so easy to hate. It takes guts to be gentle and kind...

Work 'n play. Tiring and sad at the same time.

Cloud Catalog #47.

Q magazine: What do you miss most about working with Morrissey?

Marr: His sense of humour. We had a fairly unique sense of absurdity and northern-ness that was pretty exclusive, and I miss that. He would often laugh about something that wasn’t funny and would still be laughing about it three hours later. It was sometimes disconcerting, but lovely.

Cloud Catalog #46.

Getting back to reading novels. I can't think of any other way to nurse this grief and loneliness.

Cloud Catalog #45.

How about changing strategies and refraining from hating myself for at least a month? Cool? Less days full of dread?

Cloud Catalog #44.

Some people will always make you feel that your obsession isn't cool. They're too full of themselves, always fancying how important their taste is. That's their idea of coolness: showing how uncool you are. Best to avoid them. You don't owe them anything. You don't need to prove yourself and your taste to them. Fanning the flames is a waste of time. The truth is: some contrarians are such a bore.

Cloud Catalog #43.

I've been very lazy the whole weekend and I don't know what's inside my body that makes me give in to it every frigging time. Upon seeing the floor mop that my sister bought this afternoon, I stood up and held it, singing "The First of the Gang to Die" at the top of my lungs. I knew the words by heart. I felt better, if only for a minute.

Cloud Catalog #42.

You're the one for me, Fatty. You're the one I really really love.

Cloud Catalog #41.

Kagaguhan.

Cloud Catalog #40.

For reference:

http://www.somedizzywhore.com/

http://true-to-you.net

Also, don't forget to greet Morrissey (by shouting) an advance happy birthday on the night of the concert!

Cloud Catalog #39.

Long time no see, Mr. Berryman. I have missed you.

Cloud Catalog #38.

I LOVE YOU THOMMMMMMMM

Cloud Catalog #37.

Hello Nay. Naaalala pa rin kita araw-araw. Kanina habang naglalakad ako pabalik ng opisina, naalala ko nu'ng sinamahan kita sa Orthopedic, sa may Banawe, kasi nadulas ka at namaga ang buong braso mo. Hindi ako pumasok ng trabaho at magkasama tayo buong umaga. Nang matapos ang check-up mo, sabi ko gusto ko ng champorado. Kaya dumaan tayo ng Tapa King. Tas kumain tayo sa Reyes Barbecue. Nagkuwentuhan. Napadami ang kain. Napahaba ang usapan. Ang init. Ang init sa labas kaya hindi muna tayo umuwi. Hindi ko malimutan ang araw na yun. Ang linaw pa rin sa alaala ko. Ang saya natin nu'n e. Kahit may benda ang braso mo. Kahit may mga problema tayo. Kasama kita e, kaya ayos na yun sa 'kin.

Cloud Catalog #36.

Awh. They're all so cute.

Cloud Catalog #35.

Thoughts from last night:

(1) Hate the "no photography" rule so much (my phone's camera is crap)

(2) The T-shirt design is okay, but too pricey for its worth

(3) Love love love one of the front acts, Encounters with a Yeti

(4) Bouncers are evil

(5) Half-hearted about the stage set-up

(6) Stage lighting was horrible

(7) Love love love Toe's drummer

(8) Basically I love every one of them - they all look hot when they start to play their instruments

(9) One of the guitarists spoke to the audience and we didn't understand a thing

(10) I would have loved to take pictures to share the experience, but hell - see #1

(11) Turns out some people in the audience care about song titles. Wtf.

(12) MINDBLOWWINNGGGG. EVERYTHING IS AMAZZZINNNG. INVISIBLE FIREWORKS. EXPLODE EXPLODE.

Cloud Catalog #34.

I guess there's no turning back now. It's really happening. I fidget as I wait.

Cloud Catalog #33.

1988. Viva Hate. The hair that launched a thousand -----?

Cloud Catalog #32.

Moz-Marr is my Lennon-McCartney.

Cloud Catalog #31.

Can't help it, sorry.

Cloud Catalog #30.

I wasn't even born yet.

Cloud Catalog #29.

Bihirang bihira mag-formal si J pero naka-formal siya ngayon nang fatale. Kasal ba namin? Ba't hindi ako naabisuhan? I should have worn my best! Char. Pero seriously, ang cute niya ngayon. Huhuhu baka may date sila ng bufra niya huhu /suicidelol

Cloud Catalog #28.

As my literary boyfriend once said, "I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion." There you go.

Cloud Catalog #27.

the bomb the bomb the bomb the bomb

Cloud Catalog #26.

Thank you for helping me get by, Century Tuna. Welcome to KAHIRAPAN 101. Gosh, ang seksi ko na kaka-tuna. Superbod na, ganyan. Kitaniyonaman.

Cloud Catalog #25.

Cloud Catalog #24.

I show up at work and do nothing and nothing and nothing and nothing and nothing and nothing and nothing and nothing and nothing and nothing and nothing and nothing and nothing and nothing and nothing and nothing and nothing and nothing and nothing and nothing and nothing and nothing and nothing and nothing and nothing and nothing and nothing and nothing and nothing and nothing and nothing and nothing and nothing and nothing and nothing and nothing and nothing and nothing and nothing and nothing and nothing and nothing and nothing and nothing and nothing and nothing and nothing.

Lagot.

Cloud Catalog #23.

Moz got milk.

Cloud Catalog #22.

Ang pogi ni ma'am!

Cloud Catalog #21.

Didn't go to work today so I managed to catch some episodes of Entourage on ETC and golly, Jeremy Piven is batshit crazy.

Cloud Catalog #20.

Weird that there's Internet here at the wake. Close family members have arrived. Some neighbors. Other people I don't know. My nieces and nephews are here. Some relatives are playing cards. I accompany my sister to Dangwa and buy flowers, peanuts, bread, whatnot. In a way everything feels normal, like nothing unfortunate has happened, but the void is felt by everyone, the coffin in front of us making it evident. I take a peek at my mom's face. She looks different. I wonder why dead people look different. I look at her again, then I look away again to fight back tears. I know I told her before how much I love her, but why is it that nothing is ever enough? Why does it feel like I have let her down?

Cloud Catalog #19.

Smile a while. forget the bile, and watch it all come down.

Nay, I hope you are okay wherever you are now. I love you, I miss you.

Cloud Catalog #18.

I don't really know why she has to suffer like this. I've looked for reasons and found none, I've looked for answers and found nothing. Just give her an easy rest, please. We have accepted it. It's painful for us, but rather than see her in pain it would be better to finally let the hope go. Pahinga ka na, Nay. Pahinga ka na. Okay na kami. Mahal na mahal ka namin.

Cloud Catalog #17.

Everything in the past few weeks has been beyond exhausting and saddening. I wish the world would just stop but it won't.

Cloud Catalog #16.

How come I saw this just now??? Oh gad. Garfield-gasm.

Cloud Catalog #15.

This is one of the finest moments on television. In an emotional speech, Ving Rhames hands his Golden Globe to Jack Lemmon in 1998.

Two years later, Jack wins the same award and says, "Well, in the spirit of Ving Rhames I'm gonna give this to Jack Lemmon."

I laughed and cried.

And this is Jack accepting his Oscar best actor for "Save the Tiger," alluding to Marlon Brando in the latter part of his speech. Love him.