Digital Buryong

Random.

2012-01-29T23:40:00.000-08:00

♥♥♥ BEST PHOTO IN THE WORLD ♥♥♥

Our Plans - Cloud Nothings

Dear Modern Family.

2012-01-29T22:26:00.001-08:00

Congratulations! Thanks for the wonderful distraction!

No Future/No Past - Cloud Nothings

Getting old?

2012-01-29T19:29:00.000-08:00

I started watching How I Met Your Mother sometime in 2008 or 2009 when I was still working at Alliance. I'm pretty sure it's because of Neil Patrick Harris, whom I've loved since Doogie Howser days. I enjoyed the first and second seasons, most of which I watched on my iPod before I went to sleep. The show was light, not the type of comedy that would make you think about profound things and the like. Plus, it has a cool soundtrack. The song in the opening credits is pretty nice. And once, they used "This Modern Love" to close an episode.

It's sometime after the fourth season when I got a little disinterested in it. Perhaps because I changed work, so it took me a while to catch up on it or I was listening to lots of albums and watching tons of movies that I stopped being a TV series fanatic. You know, addiction wanes when something is big enough to eclipse it. Anyway, late last year I started on the fifth season and finished watching the finale a while ago. It's kinda underwhelming but I expected that. I still love the gang, though at times they become very boring and repetitive and unfunny, mostly because of the writing. It's just not as tight as the first and second season anymore. I'm thinking of putting off watching the sixth season because I got loads of series to feast on. Yay, thanks to Sani. But for now: SLEEP.

*written sometime last week, forgot to post due to laziness (what's new)

Staircase - Radiohead

Like a Bose.

2012-01-29T18:29:00.001-08:00

Been wearing this pair of jeans for three weeks now. I checked my cabinet and apparently I have plenty of new ones to wear. SO WHY AM I SO LAZY TO TOSS THIS ONE INTO THE LAUNDRY BASKET???

Love What Happened Here - James Blake

In the Frozen Reaches.

2012-01-26T20:21:00.000-08:00

The Idea
by Mark Strand

for Nolan Miller

For us, too, there was a wish to possess
Something beyond the world we knew, beyond ourselves,
Beyond our power to imagine, something nevertheless
In which we might see ourselves; and this desire
Came always in passing, in waning light, and in such cold
That ice on the valley’s lakes cracked and rolled,
And blowing snow covered what earth we saw,
And scenes from the past, when they surfaced again,
Looked not as they had, but ghostly and white
Among false curves and hidden erasures;
And never once did we feel we were close
Until the night wind said, “Why do this,
Especially now? Go back to the place you belong;”
And there appeared , with its windows glowing, small,
In the distance, in the frozen reaches, a cabin;
And we stood before it, amazed at its being there,
And would have gone forward and opened the door,
And stepped into the glow and warmed ourselves there,
But that it was ours by not being ours,
And should remain empty. That was the idea.

Alay sa mga Nagkamalay Noong Dekada 90 - Dicta License

Shaking.

2012-01-25T18:37:00.000-08:00

Goddamn Europeans!
Take me back to beautiful England
And the grey, damp filthiness of ages,
And battered books and
Fog rolling down behind the mountains,
On the graveyards, and dead sea-captains.

Let me walk through the stinking alleys
To the music of drunken beatings,
Past the Thames River, glistening like gold
Hastily sold for nothing.

Let me watch night fall on the river,
The moon rise up and turn to silver,
The sky move,
The ocean shimmer,
The hedge shake,
The last living rose, quiver.

The Last Living Rose - PJ Harvey

Walang katumbas na pagod.

2012-01-23T18:11:00.000-08:00

Tangina minsan kahit anong pilit kong pasiglahin ang sarili, kahit anong pilit kong tatagan ang loob sa mga bagay na sumusubok sa pasensya, kahit anong pilit kong paniwalain ang sarili na may magandang dahilan ang lahat, hindi ko mawari kung bakit may mga pangyayari pa rin na magaganap para panghinaan ako ng loob, para pagdudahan ang positibong mukha ng mga bagay.

Sabihin mo nga sa akin, ano pa ba, ano pa ba ang kailangan kong gawin? Tangina naman e. Hindi ba puwedeng hayaan muna akong makabawi bago bigyan ulit ng mga mabibigat na pagsubok? Nauunawaan ko namang hindi na ako makakabalik pa sa dati, at natanggap ko nang may lamat na ang pagtingin ko sa mundo, pero maaari bang pakonsuwelo na lang na pagalingin ang may sakit at bawasan ang hirap sa araw-araw na pagpasok sa trabaho?

Hindi lang katawan at isip ko ang pagod. Pati kaluluwa na nagtatangkang gumaling mag-isa.

England - PJ Harvey

D.D.

2012-01-17T22:30:00.000-08:00

Matt is kinda high, isn't he? And Sufjan's too pretty pretty.

It's All Been Done - Barenaked Ladies

Hikab.

2012-01-17T18:40:00.001-08:00

Ang wagas ng antok ko ngayon. Sobra. Wagas na wagas kayang ipambili ng langit.

Let's Get Tired - SSLYBY

This mess I'm in.

2012-01-17T17:23:00.001-08:00

Work is stressing me out lately and it's no longer healthy. I understand that day jobs are really exhausting and sometimes they take the life out of you but I guess I've reached the limit. Nothing excites me about it anymore. Early on I knew it was boring but tolerable, but now it started to becoming utterly boring and intolerable that I began to dread coming to the office almost every day. If not for the salary and the conversations with Ali, I would have been pulling my hair in dismay and sadness. But there are bills are to pay and a life to attend to, however meaningless that life is. I got to escape this mess, though. I just don't know when. Someone please give me a hard push. I want myself out of this.

Countdown - Sondre Lerche

Boom!

2012-01-16T23:14:00.001-08:00

Hai friends. Guy and I would like to know how have you been doing. Oh, but since this is an inactive blog, no one would be answering. Hey, that's fine. Happy to be back. No matter where I go and how many good-byes are told, there's no place like home.

xxxxxx

XO/The Host - The Weeknd

Wake and be fine.

2012-01-15T19:17:00.000-08:00

Hello Matt! Hello 2012! A new year has come, right?

All My Rage - Laura Marling

Footnote.

2011-11-12T00:00:00.000-08:00

*The ego is dead but the ego can still write. The ego, at the moment, is wondering why, when everything starts to feel better after a vacation, a short trip abroad in which he has managed to recover from depression due to the loss of his niece, something would happen to make him feel very low again. Incredible timing, but time is the most merciless enemy. The ego cannot also help but think that all the while when he is on the trip, thinking of his paramour, the paramour is out with someone whom he is starting to fall for--or more appropriately, someone whom he has already fallen for ever since--even if the circumstances are not in their favor. Imagine--the ego is a single man being left for someone committed?--what a bloody way to murder the ego. On the subject of loss, the ego also wonders: why is it that love does not always beget love? Why is it that after all the good things done and given, the ego not expecting so much in return but stability, the ego's paramour still decides to cut ties and walk away, thinking that his disappearance from the ego's life will make it easier for the ego to move on and feel better? Why is it so hard to give back a good deed even if it's not romantic? The ego does things because he likes doing them, not because he wants to be loved back immensely. There are no answers, of course. On the contrary, the ego always deals with questions. The ego's paramour would always say that he is confused and fucked up, yet why is he so sure that he no longer likes the company of the ego, made evident by the paramour's disinterested text messages that are as seldom as shooting stars on an ordinary night? The ego, in fact, was also told that he is being left on account of his often bouts with depression, and the ego's paramour doesn't want someone who will pull him down because he is a downer too (but the ego argues: how about his promiscuity? haven't I accepted that wholeheartedly? haven't I always cared for him, so much in fact that it led to one of our dramatic fights--guess where--in the bathroom? whatever happened to compromise?) The ego also wonders why is it so hard for the ego's paramour to chase him--am I that repulsive? am I that ugly? am I so undeserving of explanation?--and by chase, the ego means being approached, being given the feeling that he is still desired (even if it's a lie on the ego's paramour's mind), the paramour doing the fucking move for Chrissakes. How easy for you! the ego thinks. How easy for you to let go. You can't even fight for the good times. The ego doesn't mind looking pathetic, but dear paramour, why not give him even the slightest grace of feeling his importance, whether sincere or feigned? Why so hard? You don't want him to get hurt? Bullshit. You don't want him to hope for a relationship? Bullshit. Your conscience is killing you? Bullshit. You are afraid to hurt the ego? Bullshit. Why not make the most out of the hurting? The ego was with you through some of your roughest times. Where were you when the ego felt the same way? Didn't you scoff at his suicidal tendencies, thinking "uh oh, this shouldn't be the type of person I should be with. . ." instead of meeting him up and giving him a hug personally? Is that too much to ask? You can't even approach the ego to talk after those two screenings at Shangri-la. You pretend you care about other people's feelings but you only care about yourself, how you don't want to feel bad again, and there you are, while the ego is thinking of you before he falls asleep, you are chatting with some boys past midnight, flirting, asking for advice, telling [paraphrased] “I just want to fuck boyfriends." Superb. Why is it so easy for you to accept your shortcomings yet so difficult to do something about them? Why can't you prove the ego's worth? Or is he really that worthless? Well, the ego accepts defeat. The ego, right at the start, is pathetic. And the ego still wonders if you're doing fine. And the ego's sure that he won't receive any word from you. Don't worry, the ego doesn't take offense. The ego is strong that way. Love does not always beget love, right? Shit happens. And it all goes back to the truth that the ego and the ego's paramour have (or had?) only been dating. Ha ha! Why did you keep that information--that explains everything! Everything! It's the ego's fault for holding on so much! In this world, labels are king. The ego was only a date, so he was treated like a date for several months. End of story. The wordy ego apologizes for being conditional, bows, and dances on his own. His mistake. So long, paramour. Have fun.

Slow Show - The National

First blog never dies.

2011-08-25T21:38:00.001-07:00

I guess this is the end of the road for me on this blog. It's been five years. I was a Web content writer for an outsourcing company when I started this. I bawled my eyes out writing personal entries, spilled my guts, built my armor, fainted, shared happy and sad memories. This is my first social networking site on the Internet. I never had Friendster or Multiply or MySpace. I had Facebook for a month before deciding to delete it. I have Twitter. I have two blogs on Wordpress. I recently signed up for Tumblr. But nothing will ever match the time I had here on Blogspot. This was home. Many things happened in those five years. I graduated from college, Iya passed away, Nanay had a stroke and breast cancer, two good relationships ended, people called me "a film critic," I was hired at Alliance and stayed there for three years. . . stories, I had lots of them. Too bad I had to delete most of them. I regretted that, but there's nothing I can do about it now.

Now I work for a Korean company, writing English exams and proofreading essays. I've been here more than a year now. I can't say I like the job but it pays the bills, allows me to watch movies from time to time and buy books and CDs, go on dates sometimes. I still have plans of moving away to find work outside the country. Karen and I agreed to try Singapore since it's near and it's like Makati without the traffic and pollution. Personally, I'm after the music festivals and art exhibitions. Also, the distance. I'm itching to get away from the sadness of Manila. Too many painful things and failed connections.

I am in love with someone recently and it looks like it's going to work, but it also has a semblance of hurt in it (as with any relationships), like my impatience or his indifference is bound to tear us apart soon. I'm giving it time, and lord knows how clingy and mental I am, but there you go. That's part of the package. That's the last straw. Aside from my utter lack of savings, which I can work on eventually, he's the only thing keeping me here. The perils of being insensitive and sensitive at the same time: you want to be chased back.

Probably every nerd's favorite line from a Smiths song goes, And now I know how Joan of Arc felt / Now I know how Joan of Arc felt / As the flames rose to her Roman nose / And her Walkman started to melt, and I feel that way in the last couple of days. I was no longer the non-confrontational Chard I used to be. Now I want things clear, I want to understand, I want to know if I should stay or go. I want to make decisions sooner. I want to know. I feel like dying anytime soon. I feel like a heartbreak waiting to happen. But hell, I don't even have an idea how Joan of Arc felt that time. She might have been happy after all.

I am 23. I feel old but not very wise. I still think being in my 20s suck, and by suck I mean it stinks to high heaven. I hate it. It's stupid but I can't wait to be in my 30s. I'm hoping it'd be better, Don Draper-better (ugh). Everything's going to be fine when I get older, that much I know. Also, I hope I live until 2046. For more hipsterness.

I don't know why I chose this day to say goodbye. But yes, goodbye. The formality of farewells. At least you know when to let go, when to start to move on, and when to lick the wounds. "Signal Fire" is looping on my iPod for more than an hour now and Gary Lightbody sings, I don't wanna wait forever. He's right.

Buryong, I love you more than myself. I will miss you.

Signal Fire - Snow Patrol

Nothing is wrong.

2011-07-15T10:29:00.000-07:00

When it hits me that she's gone
I think I'll run for president
Get my face put on the million dollar bill

So when these rich men that she wants
Show her ways they can take care of her
I'll have found a way to be there with her still

When it hits me that she's gone
I think I'll be an astronaut
Make the moon my home and leave the earth behind

So when she steps out into the night
and finds the light that makes her prettiest
she'll be facing me every time she shines

Band of the moment, song that kills me at the moment. Go listen to Dawes's second record and weep.

If I Wanted Someone - Dawes

Fuck me Chester.

2011-07-11T08:04:00.000-07:00

It's the year of Adele. 21 has skyrocketed its way to the pop charts, and it's no dirty feat. More than five songs on the album are close to classic, "Rolling in the Deep" definitely one of them, and it's possibly the most covered song of the year so far, from Glee and Nicole Scherzinger to David Cook and John Legend. All nice and pleasant, but the moment I hear Linkin Park's version, or rather, Chester's beautiful voice interpreting it, boy was I jizzing in my pants. Seriously, I could feel my pubic area vibrate. It's one of those rare moments when I realize how beautiful Chester's voice is, as if I needed convincing on this matter, his voice made of gold, so tender, so sexy, so fatally vulnerable. The sparse arrangement helps a lot because it highlights his pitch and wide range. Many times have I seen this and I never get tired staring at his mouth. I think I'd like to live there. Or maybe turn myself into a microphone.

One Step Closer - Linkin Park

Sa hinaharap.

2011-07-10T07:56:00.000-07:00

Palagay ko mas nagkakaroon ng posibilidad na magkatotoo ang mga bagay kapag isinulat mo sila, kapag nakikita mo ang katotohanan nila sa papel o kahit sa blog man lang. Kaya eto, mga bagay na dapat gawin at ilang mga plano:

> Ayusin ang CV. Ihanda ang sarili na maghanap ng trabaho sa labas ng bansa.
> Magbasa ng mas marami pang libro. Huwag tamarin sa pagbuklat. Pag-ipunang makabili ng Kindle.
> Huwag masyadong gumastos sa pagkain! Disiplinahin ang sarili sa paggasta ng pera.
> Mag-ehersisyo!
> Huwag magpuyat. Diretso na uwi galing opisina para hindi mapagod at gumastos. Social life mo na ang libro, musika, at pelikula. Solb na yun.
> Tigilan na ang walang kuwentang pag-iilusyon.
> Magtiwala sa sarili. Confidence! Passe na ang pagse-self-deprecate. (I-contradict talaga?)
> Hangga't maaari magsulat. Pero huwag pilitin. Steady lang. Pagtuunan ng pansin ang mga raket sa pagsusulat. Huwag muna mag-blog, puwera na lang dito sa Buryong. Priyoridad ang Buryong! Mas mahalagang manumbalik ang interes mo sa blog na ito.
> Bawasan ang oras na inilalaan sa pagmumuni-muni.
> Gumawa ng kalokohan paminsan-minsan. Pero huwag masyadong masasaktan ha?
> Huwag pabayaan ang sarili. Huwag hayaang mapabayaan ang sarili.
> Magpadala ng mga sorpresang sulat at regalo.
> Bawas-bawasan ang dependence sa Internet!
> Kahit gaano kahirap, mag-ipon.
> Seryosohin muli ang pag-aaral ng Pranses.
> Tapusin na ang "Best OPM songs of the Decade" list

O yun muna. Dadagdagan ko na lang sa susunod.

Don't Get Stuck (Proud Elephants) - Delicate Steve

Pumeperspektiba.

2011-07-07T17:48:00.000-07:00

Pakiwari ko dapat tigilan ko na 'to. Hayaan na lang ang mga bagay at huwag piliting magkatotoo. Tutal una, hindi ko rin naman alam kung paano sasabihin. At pangalawa, baka mapahiya lang ako. Nakakainis yung pangalawang dahilan, pero ganun ata talaga. Takot. Walang bayag.

Puyat ako nitong nakalipas na mga araw dahil naisip ko kailangan kong lumabas, sumagap ng hangin bukod sa hangin na nasasagap ko sa bahay. Noong isang araw magkasama kami ni Anton. Inaya niya ako sa tugtugan ng kaibigan niya. Masaya naman. Magkakilala na kami ni Anton mula pa noong kolehiyo, pero sa Alliance lang kami naging malapit. Mahabang kuwento kung paano namin natuklasang magkakilala pala kami dati pa. Isa si Anton sa malalapit kong kaibigan, kahit medyo bihira na kami magkita. Nakuwento ko sa kanya si J-L. Supportive naman ang gago. Sinuportahan ang kagagahan ko. At nanlibre ng pizza. At gusto na rin daw niya mag-resign sa Alliance.

Kagabi naman kasama ko sina Charlotte at Sly. Mahaba-haba ring kuwentuhan. Malungkot lang kasi paalis na sila ng Pinas. Hahanap muli ng bagong lugar na lilipatan, bagong trabahong paglalaanan ng panahon. Nomadic ang atake nila sa buhay. Cool. Halos ka-edad ko lang sila, pero bilang Pranses pakiramdam ko mas matapang sila sa akin. At may mas malawak na ideya tungkol sa buhay. Sana magkita pa kami ulit. Sabi ko nga, "In forty years, magkita tayo sa Angers! Tas pagkuwentuhan natin 'tong mga pinag-usapan natin ngayong gabing 'to." Nakakalungkot pero kahit papaano nabigyan ako ng perspektiba, gaano man kabilis mawala ng linaw.

I'll Be Waiting - Adele

Milkman.

2011-07-06T18:29:00.000-07:00

Seven months later, no solid album of the year yet. But for now this will suffice. My fingers cry happily.

Let's Dance the Jet - Deerhoof

Pick two.

2011-07-06T02:26:00.000-07:00

From @dilimanista

Shoulda - Jamie Woon

What I’m reading-Wednesday: Amnesia Moon by Jonathan Lethem

2011-07-06T00:14:00.001-07:00

I’m halfway through Jonathan Lethem’s Amnesia Moon, the story of which reminds me of Philip K. Dick’s novels (post-apocalyptic themes) and Michel Faber’s Under the Skin (hitchhiking, furry women). This is Lethem’s second book, very youthful and imaginative, a light read but engaging nonetheless. Why hasn’t anyone adapted this into a movie yet?

From Booklat

Too Many Rappers [New Reactionaries Version] - Beastie Boys

Trabaho.

2011-07-05T23:42:00.001-07:00

Nakakasuka sa hirap 'tong bagong assignment na binigay sa akin sa opisina. Ewan ko ba. Purol na purol na 'ko. Malapit na mawala ang pakialam ko na maitawid 'to nang maayos at nasa oras. Puwede magbakasyon ng isang taon tas may suweldo pa rin? Pretty pretty please? Gusto ko na ng bagong buhay sige na po.

*

Nagkakatotoo ba talaga kapag madalas hinihiling at iniisip? Puwedeng kami na lang ni J-L? As in mag-e-email siya ng "OK Chard, tayo na. Wala ka nang dapat ipag-alala"? Pretty pretty please?

Abducted - Cults

FU LYF.

2011-07-03T19:08:00.000-07:00

Sabi sa "Talking Hotel Arbat Blues" ng Handsome Furs, banda ni Dan Boeckner at Alexei Perry, I don't know but I've been told, every little thing's been bought and sold. Nakakalungkot lang na ideya. Ang sarap umiyak. Kahit saang lugar basta makaiyak lang.

All We Want, Baby, Is Everything - Handsome Furs

Bigo.

2011-07-03T18:57:00.000-07:00

Hindi ko alam kung bakit napakaraming hindi magagandang bagay ang nangyayari nitong mga nakalipas na araw. Ang alam ko lang: pagod na ako at gusto ko nang magpakalayo-layo. Gagawan ko 'to ng paraan. Pero dapat muna akong magkaroon ng limpak-limpak na salapi.

Best Thing I Never Had - Beyoncé

Sabado.

2011-07-01T02:10:00.000-07:00

Malakas ang loob ko sumubok. Ang ikinakatakot ko ay ang walang mangyari pagkatapos ko sumubok. Ganun naman lagi. Sanay na. Pero masakit pa rin. Dama pa rin. Ilang araw ding iisipin, iiyakan, iisipin ulit. Hangga't tatawanan na lang. Tas magtataka kung bakit naisipan ko pang sumubok, subukan, subukin ang pagkakataon. Pero ayun. Gagawin ko na naman. Kinikilig na naman. Kakabahan. Pag-aaksayahan ng mga araw at gabi kakaisip, pag-aaksayahan ng mga panaginip at pangarap na hindi matutupad, pag-aasakyahan ng mga muni-muni ng mas malayo pa ang nararating kaysa mga sariling paa. Minsan lang ako maghangad ng happy ending. Sana ngayon na yun matupad. Kahit suntok sa buwan.

Give It All Back - Noah and the Whale

Ang Pagbabalik ng Panday.

2011-06-16T20:54:00.000-07:00

Panahon na para muling buhayin ang blog na 'to. Kailangan na manumbalik ng dating sigla. Panindigan!

The Edge of Glory - Lady Gaga

Wager.

2011-04-05T02:22:00.000-07:00

“You know what I’ve always thought?” she asks in a tone of discovery, and not smiling at me but a point beyond. “I’ve always thought a body would have to be sick and dying before they saw the Lord. And I imagined that when He came it would be like looking at the Baptist window: pretty as colored glass with the sun pouring through, such a shine you don’t know it’s getting dark. And it’s been a comfort: to think of that shine taking away all the spooky feeling. But I’ll wager it never happens. I’ll wager at the very end a body realizes the Lord has already shown Himself. That things as they are”—her hand circles in a gesture that gathers clouds and kites and grass and Queenie pawing earth over her bone—“just what they’ve always seen, was seeing Him. As for me, I could leave the world with today in my eyes.”

- "A Christmas Memory," Truman Capote, p. 176

Lost+ - Coldplay feat. Jay-Z

Fever dreaming.

2011-01-21T00:59:00.000-08:00

Jason left the office today. I wrote shit in the farewell letter, but he's actually the best boss I ever had.

Ergo, nomics.

2011-01-19T17:05:00.000-08:00

Akbay Ananda.

2010-12-05T17:24:00.000-08:00

Eclipse.

2010-11-23T17:43:00.000-08:00

“As long as we were in love, we understood each other. There was nothing to understand.”

L'Eclisse (1962)

Happy was the night.

2010-11-21T16:29:00.000-08:00

SuJu-Dr.Who-Buffy-sing-along night, as expected, was a blast. Again, that wallpaper was the loveliest I've seen. And these friends are the most fun to be with. And at 6 A.M. we're not even close to tipsy.

RIP Iya Day 40.

2010-11-09T20:23:00.000-08:00

On my birthday I cried because of how things have been. Realizing the things I no longer have, the memories I can only share, and the beloved I can no longer be with. I dread the remaining days of my life. I relish what's left. I care less about my dreams now. In fact, I care nothing.

Iya promised me once that she would read all my owned books when she grew up. Who would re-read them now? Who would devour them as much as I did? How could I ever wish someone would take her place, knowing no one else could and would?

It's been forty days. The pain never goes away. Sadness piles upon sadness, grief upon grief. Everything now is dedicated to a Happier Year, a year we can only remember but not have.

A beautiful message from a beautiful man.

2010-10-22T02:08:00.000-07:00

Oh, and can I steal this?

I'm sorry, I just did.

------>

2010-10-12T17:29:00.000-07:00

RIP Iya Day 8.

2010-10-09T02:16:00.000-07:00

Self-portrait.

Linggo ng Wika.

Pagkakaibigan. Pagmamahal. Totoo, minsan nga lang sila bata.
I love you, Iya.

Libing.

2010-10-06T07:02:00.000-07:00

Inihatid na namin si Iya kanina. Yun na ata ang pinakamahabang lakad ko sa buong buhay ko. Pinipilit ko pa rin na panaginip lang siya. Iniisip ko, dati kapag may nadadaanan akong karo ng patay sa kalye tas tumitigil ako para magmasid, hindi ko alam ang pakiramdam. Ngayong kami na ang tinitignan habang nasa prusisyon, alam ko na. Ang sakit. Ang lungkot. Ang hinayang. Si Ate madalas tuntingin sa taas, sa langit, sa mga ulap. Sabi niya, nagbabakasakali siyang hindi talaga totoo itong ginagawa namin tas matatawa kami kung bakit nasa gitna kami ng kalye bigla-bigla. Ako naalala ko yung mga kalyeng dinadaanan namin ni Iya pag lumalabas kami: bibili ng meryenda, magwiwithdraw sa ATM, lalakad papuntang 7-11.

Huling paalam at nangimi akong halikan si Iya sa pisngi. Baka kasi tumulo yung luha ko sa mukha niya at sabi ng mga matatanda, masama raw yun. Kaya hinalikan ko na lang siya sa dibdib, sa damit niyang prinsesa. Matigas na si Iya. Mapula siya. Rosy cheeks. Tingin namin dahil sa init. Napangiti ako sa pagsang-ayon nang nabanggit ni Ate na bumalik yung itsura ni Iya nung baby siya. Nag-iba yung mukha niya gawa ng sakit. Nung tinitingnan namin yung mga bagong kuhang retrato niya bago namatay, nag-iba yung itsura niya talaga. Napawi ang ngiti. Nahirapan.

Ngayon ko natuklasan ang kakaibang uri ng pagod. Iya, mahal na mahal ka namin. Ingat ka diyan. Namimiss ka naming paalalahanan (Iya, kain na. Iya, magtoothbrush ka na. Iya, huwag kang tatakbo. Iya, tulog na. Iya, huwag kang magbabasa sa dilim.) at wala na ang sigla sa amin ngayong wala ka na. Salamat at nakasama ka namin ng anim na taon. Magkikita pa tayo ni Tito. Yayapusin kita nang mahigpit at bubuhatin nang paikot katulad ng madalas nating gawin. Mahihilo at tatawa.

RIP Iya Day 2.

2010-10-02T21:26:00.000-07:00

Iya. Ang dami kong gustong gawin. Sabihin. Ihingi ng tawad. Gusto kitang akapin. Mahigpit. Halikan. Sana nakausap kita bago ka nawala. O nalaman kong malapit ka nang mawala nang gabing pinuntahan kita sa kuwarto mo. Iya, hindi mo alam napakaraming beses mo akong napasaya. Napangiti. Napagaan ang loob. Sana nagawa ko yung tumbasan sa anim na taong kapiling ka namin. Mahal na mahal kita. Ka namin.

Thirty precious seconds of Iya.

2010-10-02T20:15:00.000-07:00

Iya.

2010-10-02T03:03:00.000-07:00

Iya... Lagi pa rin kitang nararamdaman sa bahay. Tuwing pinupuntahan mo ako sa kuwarto ni Tita para kausapin ako habang nagsusulat, at ikaw naman nilalaro mo si Nene Bear, Tati Bear, at Donald Duck. Nag-uusap tayo nang kung ano-ano lang. At minsan sinusungitan kita kasi wala na naman ako sa mood. At minsan inaakap mo ako sa likod at hindi kita pinapansin. Iya, mahal na mahal kita. Tuwing pumupunta ka sa kuwarto ko para magpaturo sa assignment mo. Sa tuwing lalabas tayo para samahan mo akong magwithdraw at dadaan tayong 7-11 para ilibre kita ng pagkain. Sa tuwing hihingi ka sa akin ng papel para may madrowingan ka at masulatan. Sa tuwing magtatampo ako sa 'yo dahil hindi mo na naman ako sinusunod. Sa tuwing nilalambing mo ako pag-uwi galing trabaho. Sa tuwing maglalaro tayo, at nung minsang ginawan ko ng paraan na payagan kang maligo sa ulan. Sa dalawang beses na dinala kita sa Christmas party ng Alliance. Sa tuwing pinipilit mo akong isama kita sa tuwing maglalakwatsa ako kaso hindi puwede. Iya, miss na miss na kita. Kung alam ko lang na anim na taon lang ang tagal ng ating pagsasama, ginawa ko na sana ang lahat upang mapasaya ka nang lubusan. Iya, kulang ang salita upang maparating ko kung gaano ko nararamdaman ang pagkawala mo. Iya. Namimiss ka na ni Tito Ichard. Balik ka na...

RIP Iya Day 1.

2010-10-01T21:53:00.001-07:00

Hindi ko pa rin alam Iya. Hindi ko pa rin alam. Pero sana alam mo mahal na mahal ka namin.

Pagod.

2010-09-30T22:12:00.000-07:00

Hay lord. Sa totoo lang nakakapagod na. Kakatawag lang ni Ate. Na-ospital kasi si Iya kahapon, tas ngayon kailangan naman daw ilipat ng ospital at dalhin sa ICU. Encephalitis daw. Hinala ko may bipolar disorder si Iya kaya lagi siyang nagwawala dati. At may kinalaman 'to dito. Mas lumala raw nung dinala na sa ospital. Lagi niyang sambit: "Ayoko na."

Ako rin. Ayoko na.

Pag nasalubong niyo 'ko, bigyan niyo naman ako ng magandang joke. Nakakapanghina.

Guni-guni-ta.

2010-09-29T21:09:00.000-07:00

Ang dami kong gustong gawin. Ang dami kong gustong simulan. Ang dami kong gustong tapusin. Ang hirap pala. Ang dami kong kuwento ng mga nangyari nitong nakalipas na buwan pero wala masyadong panahon at gana. Nakakasawa rin pala magkuwento. Minsan kasi pakiramdam mo hindi naman nakakatulong na ikuwento siya. O sadyang wala lang talagang panahon. O hindi mo na siya nakikitaan ng dahilan--ng kahalagahan--para ibahagi sa iba. Umalis ako ng Alliance. Nagkaroon ng bagong trabaho. Na-stroke si Nanay. Nag-birthday ang dalawang pamangkin. Training sa opisina. Bagong proyekto. Hasel sa pagsusulat. Bantay sa ospital. Bantay sa bahay. Pakikiharap sa mga mainitin ang ulo. Away. Sigawan. Pag-unawa. Pagmamahal. Pagbasa. Pakikinig ng bagong kanta. Mga isinisingit na pagsusulat. Pagtulog. Pag-asa. Pag-asa na sana gumaling na si Nanay. Pag-asa na sana wala na siyang panibagong sakit. Pag-asa na sana bumalik na siya sa dati. Pag-asa na wala na masyadong iniisip. Pag-asa na gumaan ang buhay. Pag-asa na tumigil na ang tatay sa paglalasing at pagsusugal. Pag-asa na guminhawa. Pag-asa na matupad ang mga pangarap. Pag-asang makaalis ng bansa at makapagtrabaho sa labas. Pag-asa sa panibagong kapaligiran. Pag-asa sa mga bagong makikilala. Pag-asa na umalwan ang pamumuhay. Pag-asa na makapag-ipon at makabili ng bahay at matupad ang mga pangarap. Pag-asang mahanap ang taong makakasama sa buhay nang matagal-tagal, kahit hindi pang-habambuhay. O teka, may tumatawag.

Handa na raw ang pagkain.

Talagang ang kalandian laging may panahon. Isa siyang necessity. Lahat ata ng pagmamahal ko na nasasayang sa iba napupunta na lang sa 'yo--tas nasasayang din. Lol. O siya.

Paalam muna, bahista ng pagmamahal. Sa Ingles, bassist of love. Sarap mamatay sa kakornihan lolxoxoxo

Winged/Wicked Things - Sunset Rubdown

OMFG.

2010-09-27T01:05:00.001-07:00

So Real - Jeff Buckley

Techno Tuesday.

2010-09-16T23:44:00.000-07:00

More here.

Happiness - Hurts

For now I refuse.

2010-09-16T01:15:00.000-07:00

These days I've been wondering how I can die for a year, or maybe two years, or three. Die and come back. Provisional. That's all I'm asking. A coupon. A ticket to faraway where I'm not alive-alive. A respite from this world. A bloody break. Not a day passes that this dying idea hasn't crossed my mind. Please help me die. I'm so tired.

Send in the Clouds - Silver Jews

White riot.

2010-09-15T06:48:00.001-07:00

"It was a fantastic night. You could lose yourself in the noise. Little problems like the fact that you had no money and nowhere to stay dissolved in the sea of chords and sweat and beer and feedback and pounding bodies throwing themselves manically up and down in a distant approximation to the rhythm of the music. Doug had never heard any of these songs before but in the months and years to come they would become his closest friends: "Deny," "London's Burning," Janie Jones." He was transfixed by the sight and sound of Joe Strummer shouting, screaming, singing, howling into the microphone: the hair lank with sweat, the veins on his neck tautened and pulsing with blood. Doug surrendered to the noise and for an hour he pogoed like a madman in the dense, heaving heart of a crowd two hundred or more strong. The heat and the energy were overwhelming. When it was over he stumbled to the bar and jostled for place as the fans clamoured to slake their thirst. He was pushed and shoved and he pushed and shoved back with the best of them and he felt, for the first time that day, wonderfully and unexpectedly at home."

- The Rotter's Club, Jonathan Coe, pp. 171-172

Banned (By The Man) - SSLYBY

Somewhere but here I'm happy.

2010-09-09T00:42:00.000-07:00

Aww. Yes. From my dear National.

Radioactive - Kings of Leon

Lynch.

2010-09-08T22:24:00.001-07:00

Because as amazing as his movies. . . is his HAIR.

Mad Scientist - Angela Aki

Racing like a pro.

2010-09-02T22:22:00.000-07:00

Too many things and too many reasons. And above all these, I am tongue-tied. I don't know how to express them. I don't know how to blog anymore. I don't know how to confess through writing. I miss those days when I just hang out here and talk nonsense, those days when time is a luxury, when time is not greeted with dread, when everything is, well, a waste of time.

I haven't been well. Although I am always reminded how worse other people's situations are, which may suggest emotional comfort, honestly, that doesn't help much. Awareness is just plain recognition.

I'll cut this short by saying please wish my mom well. Wish us well. Wish us love. Wish us kindness. Wish us health. Wish us wealth. Wish us happiness.

Bon courage. With squalor. Be lucky. Stay gold.

I'll be back.

Roses - Cherry Ghost

Never let me go.

2010-08-28T08:44:00.000-07:00

Something in it that still unnerves me, that pulls me under and shatters me. The way Ishiguro doesn't want you to cry but you do otherwise, bit by bit, the pages turning themselves, creeping towards the end. I just finished the book and, for a moment, I was drowned in my own tears.

Carey, Keira, Andrew, let's do this. Fox Searchlight, let's do this. Thanks Thor for lending me the book.

Gentleman - Eddy Current Suppression Ring

Hello darkness my old friend.

2010-08-25T19:31:00.000-07:00

Because the boyfriend is back and it's a reason to celebrate. It opens with an eleven-minute track and closes with a seventeen-minute epic, sealing the record's place in my jampacked heart.

Days like this I just want to disappear. Sufy, please. Never let me go. xxxxx

Djohariah - Sufjan Stevens

You Have Killed Me: The Pain Playlist (Starring the Jestoni Alarcon of "Huwag Mong Buhayin ang Bangkay")

2010-06-21T05:10:00.000-07:00

Dodo tags me, and I can't say no to my dad. Five songs of pain but more like songs with pain, always personal because what's the point of it all otherwise?

On the contrary, I'm in a fine mood lately, seeing smiles in sad songs. A little sidetrack work-wise, hopelessly devoted love-wise. Nevertheless, here I am, afloat. Here go my strokes to reach the shore.

Hang with Me (Robyn) More like a silent kill after an explosive heart-crash, because really, when the refrain kicks in and kicks another and kicks over and over, how can you not be in bloody mess and yet wanting for more? Only Robyn can nail it without trying too hard. And frankly, without trying anything. She just needs to open her mouth and sing like Orpheus.

This Modern Love (Bloc Party) This goes without saying but I am saying it anyway: I bleed every time I hear this. Old wounds taste sweeter, though.

I'm Alright Now (David Ford) My memory is good when it comes to remembering where I was when I first heard the song, and this one here played, of all places, as the Central Terminal train sped fast right in front of me. You know, cinematic, with the wind blowing my hair as my tears fell. But it's schmaltz for good reasons, whatever they were. It's like I cannot sleep for dreaming / This is everything I could have possibly hoped it would be / A lot of stories will end happy ever after / But I swear nothing quite like you and me. Really, I cried over that? Now it's just funny, but then this was salvation.

Too Too Too Fast (Ra Ra Riot) Not pain exactly, but what pain is exact? Rarely does a song get me up just to make me cry. By the time it sings When I look in your eyes, what am I supposed to do? I am left dumb-founded, groping for an answer. The fact that Ra Ra Riot care makes it harder, waiting for our response as they build a bridge so wrenchingly insane I want to spill my guts all over the stage. This is mad, but mad is written all over me.

James (Camera Obscura) No, this belongs in the playlist not because of the title, but I gladly understand if you believe so. Campbell's voice arrests the moment of numbness, when you can still feel the pain but you think it's just grace dressed as pain, or grace clad in rapture. But I'm lying: this one is here because of James. And when I look back and read this and find myself stupid remembering all this gooey feeling, I think that serves the purpose of this list. To wax nostalgic all I like. I'd like to celebrate you, dear / All in all it's been a pretty good year. Not yet, but I surely will.

Tagging whoever but especially Ayn, JB, Megan, Janina, and Thor.

Don't Look At Me - Rooney

Isang kindat mo lamang ay gagaling na ako.

2010-06-06T03:15:00.000-07:00

Or rather. James, James, James, James, James, James Reid (to infinity)

Bochicha - Dom

The Bird and the Bee-ing.

2010-05-21T20:42:00.000-07:00

Tinatanong pa ba kung bakit mahal na mahal ko ang Hall and Oates?

King of Spain - The Tallest Man on Earth

V (for Vendetta waha).

2010-05-21T19:11:00.000-07:00

Hindi ko talaga maunawaan itong mga Pranses na mapagbigay ng motibo pero hanggang motibo lang pala. Yung tipong maaabutan mo na naman siya sa loob ng library bago ka dumating (kasi nga late ka) tapos mag-uusap kayo nang sobrang igsi (tipong small talk na hindi naman talaga small talk kasi empleyado ka at kliyente siya) tas mapuputol ang usapan, irerecord mo yung hiniram niya, magpapaalam, magbobonne journée, magngigitian (may lamang mga ngiti) at ayun babay. Dalawang taon na yun nangyayari. Art film na art film. Gusto ko na ng act 2.

(Pareho kaming naka-iPod. Pareho kaya kami ng pinapakinggan? Pak! Pak!)

Crazy Love Vol. II - Paul Simon

Something to sing about.

2010-05-17T20:07:00.000-07:00

Now isn't that cover lovely? I just received the complimentary CD from Les Inrocks and there's this track from Neil Hannon's new album! I am hoping next week the record's already in our friendly file-sharing sites. Yay!

Neapolitan Girl - The Divine Comedy

Insomnya.

2010-05-14T16:41:00.000-07:00

Nakakaloka 'tong pumasok na naman ako ng opisina nang walang tulog. Nakakaloka na 'tong hindi ko pagtulog. Nakakaloka rin na pumutok na naman yung saksakan ng ilaw kanina courtesy of yours truly. Nakakaloka. Takot ako sa kuryente. Dapat ang pamagat nito ay Nakakaloka kasi nakakaloka na ata ang pagkaredundant ng nakakaloka. Anyway, nakakaloka.

Picture of You - Boyzone

Friday afternoon and this is what I write about.

2010-05-14T03:20:00.000-07:00

Oh, this is one happy thought. Writing about songs.

One perfect song from The Osmonds, way back in 1974. Take note how intricate their steps are (how they do that bend in " . . you bend and you fold me, any way you please . . "). The brothers even trade places. And notice how varied their hand movements are? And how each one of them has uniquely colored pants and undershirts? You just gotta love this! Pang-vidyoke.

Now this one's from Boyzone. One perfect remake. Boyzone made a comeback and toured again in 2008. A year later, Stephen Gately died.

I'll always remember my friend in high school who cried when she found out that Stephen came out. In our school, that time, anyone crying was reason enough to call the principal's office. So I wonder how she reacted when Stephen died. Me, I felt sad. And this was the first song that came to mind when I read the news.

This one's a less happy performance compared to what they did in their Tour (damn embedding is disabled so please click here), though the steps are better appreciated in this video. Watch the Tour performance first!

Anyway, not that they're too old to dance like that but the steps are really funny. Funny in a charming way, like the way Mikey introduces the song. And it's cute when old men are dancing, just for the heck of it.

Notice that Stephen Gately sort-of-red-scarf-but-not-really-a-scarf? How it is complemented by Ronan's red belt and Keith's red undershirt? Yay! And like the Osmonds' video there is also audience participation! Winner. Okay, Stephen, wherever you are, you know your band's version will always be the one I like better. You look so happy here.

Causers of This - Toro Y Moi

Like a rolling stone.

2010-05-12T23:15:00.000-07:00

Underrated but one of my most beloved bands, Anberlin, is releasing their fifth album late this year. I'm listening again to Cities and Blueprints, but the new record really excites me.

Anyway. Quite fitting, this past election. Like New Year. Like birthdays. Beginnings.

Reforming myself. It's high time. High violet.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kita-kita tayo sa finals.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

There is no mathematics to love and loss - Anberlin

Masarap gumala.

2010-04-30T05:15:00.000-07:00

Nakakatawa 'tong emote emote ko ngayon. Walang dangal.

Nitong mga nakalipas na araw, kapag walang pasok, ibig sabihin tuwing Biyernes at Linggo, lumalabas ako ng bahay para gumala. As in gala. Punta sa mga lugar na pinupuntahan ko dati nung hindi pa ako nagtatrabaho: mall, kainan, bilihan ng libro, kalye, lumang mga pasyalan. Maynila lang siyempre, para malapit sa bahay at hindi gastos sa pamasahe. Nakakamiss din pala. Umuulan na kasi e, kaya tinitiis kong umalis ng hapon kahit sobrang init. Ayokong maabutan ng ulan masyado. Ayokong nagpapayong.

Sta. Cruz madalas. Dun lang naman ako tambay dati. Ongpin nung nakaraang linggo. Quiapo minsan. Ma Mon Luk kanina. Avenida ang laging lakaran. Naligaw ako nung dumaan ako ng Ongpin, as usual, kakalingon sa mga Tsinoy na dumadaan, baka may masagap na tsismis, o may masarap tingnan. Pero cool lang naman. Pag naligaw ka naman sa Ongpin, sa Avenida ka rin naman lalabas, kaya walang kaso. May libreng kuwento ka pa courtesy of the tambays. May nadaanan ako, nagsisigawan sila tungkol sa kantutan. Ang saya. Medyo magastos nga lang gumala, pero okay lang naman. Hindi naman madadala ang pera sa hukay.

Naisip kong magsimba pero pumasok lang ako para tingnan yung mga disenyo ng simbahan. Paborito kong gawin yun. Para ngang kabisado ko na yung architecture ng simbahan ng Sta. Cruz. Maganda lang sila tingnan. Parang tinutukso ka ng kasaysayan. Pampalipas oras din.

At wag ka, minsang naglalakad ako at nagmumuni-muni sa isang crush, kamukat-mukat mong nakita ko ang pangalan ni crush sa isang gusali! Akalain mo. Maka-timing nga naman. Kumikinang-kinang pa. Wala lang. Pang-asar ang kapalaran. Ewan ko ba. O siya. Minsan na nga lang ako magka-crush ng attainable, hindi ko pa ma-attain! (bawal magbigay ng clue)

Labo. Drama nitong tumutugtog ngayon. With matching violin pa. Pero digs naman, buhay. Makatili naman 'tong si Regine. Parang walang Ogie.

Pangarap Ko Ang Ibigin Ka - Regine Velasquez

Something I found.

2010-04-27T22:15:00.000-07:00

Okay, so conversations kept me alive. And there it was. Not too long ago. But seemed too far out. Come to think of it, 'fantastic' was never a word I often used. I went on to read the site.

This is the part when I miss you. Whatever 'miss' means. Whatever 'longing' means. Or is this just a chemical reaction? Hormones? Intervention of the mighty mirthless?

Just your name and mine, together, linked by 'and' makes me a little comfortable. This one only becomes a memory, of a virtual companionship I sorely miss.

A Dream Goes On Forever - Todd Rundgren

Runaway.

2010-04-27T03:39:00.000-07:00

Not same time last year but almost the same feeling. Me waking up when "While you wait for the others" was playing and tears started to well up. Then it just didn't stop.

Now it's this. Matt closes his eyes so tight he seems to be making another song while singing. There goes what makes you think Im enjoyin' being led to the flood? and I'm on my knees.

When I look back I will always remember what I'm feeling right now, who I'm having this feeling for, and why.

Brian Eno - MGMT

Hang the DJ Vol. 2! Summer Ish!

2010-04-26T02:26:00.001-07:00

CLICK AWAY!

This Tornado Loves You - Neko Case

Pagtataka.

2010-04-25T20:18:00.000-07:00

Kapag ginoogle mo ang Google, hindi ba nakakatakot yung ideya na lalabas ang Google? Na parang hinanap niya yung sarili at nakita niya ka'gad? Fraction of a second. Walang effort.

Wala lang. Natakot ako, at nagnais na sana Google din ako. Madaling matagpuan ang ilang bagay, kabilang na ang sarili.

Please Send Me Someone to Love - Sade

So far around the bend.

2010-04-21T22:16:00.000-07:00

Of all the followup albums I expected to wow me (the new MGMT I'm still figuring out; the new LCD I haven't downloaded in full but listened a couple of times; the new Foals is good and I'm sure I'll like it more if I stop listening to it everyday; the new Watson Twins is a bit average), only these two did:

The Monitor - Titus Andronicus. War mode. Binging on beer vocals (wtf), it seems to be some sort of celebration of craziness. Middle is kinda reflective, but the hooks, The enemy is everywhere for instance, stick. It's growing and growing on me, which sometimes I have these thoughts that I used to be a war veteran.

High Violet - The National. Gulay. Talking about anticipation that pays off. A lot of talk going on about how terrible Terrible Love is in the album, and crap, that performance on Jimmy Fallon is truly way better, but give up guys, that's how live sets go. Unpredictable. Still, this one sounds so amazing it feels like the end of the year already. Loop, loop, loop. Days of static as usual.

Conversation 16 - The National

A Midsummer's Night.

2010-04-19T19:41:00.000-07:00

Stupid things crack me up, and one of them just did. What always happens, like a curse when I take a leave on purpose, on selfish purpose, is that it works against me. I get a rest, I get to sleep longer, I forget about my insomnia. So amid the heat I'm home doing something else, thinking of something else, wishing something else. Then something will happen, something least likely to happen happens, and then war. Just like that. Lets me think of karma, which I believe; lets me think of punishment, which I also believe. Why then this happens? I'm at fault for sure, as I am always at fault just by not doing anything. It feels shitty that's all. You say words you mean but you regret saying; the point being not the words you said but the fact you said them, in such context. We didn't grow up in apologies, nor we can learn it now. It depresses me to be awake every turn of the night, thinking, another day passes and I am still awake to witness it, to feel it, to deject myself.

"Isn't it dumb? All over the world, people running around, trying not to die? Hanging on to life like grim death. And I want to die. And I can't." - Element Girl, Sandman #20

So true she got there.

One Touch - LCD Soundsystem

Para sa ating lahat, walang takas.

2010-04-17T01:12:00.001-07:00

Nakaw mula sa "Soltero" ni Ginoong Pio de Castro III

Odessa - Caribou

Destroy Those Irritating Memories

2010-04-16T19:48:00.001-07:00

Minsan masarap lang maging sweater. O sige na nga, maski sumbrero na lang. Panood ng pelikula!

La Collectionneuse - Charlotte Gainsbourg

This is happening.

2010-04-16T05:36:00.000-07:00

Tonight, I'm streaming the new LCD album before it gets released in May!

Six tracks later. . . the Firefox crashes. Whatever happened to fun. Huhu xxxxx

When I get back, the Internet connection is wavering, making the stream skip. Huhu xxxxx

Close everything xxxxxx

Anyway, in other news, only now I get the chance to check Phoenix's website for a free download of their concert in Sydney!

Internet, you bitch, don't spoil my dayoff.

First time album streaming is fun, yeah yeah yeahs.

Fifteen what-the-fucks later, streaming is going seaaamlesssssss. Fingers crossssseeedd. Megan is streaming with me, which makes it more fun. Glee glee glee.

I Can Change - LCD Soundsystem

A most pleasant surprise.

2010-04-09T23:48:00.001-07:00

I wasn't there but my absence gave me something else. Thank you Ayn! Means a lot. Boo! to me, as always.

The Modern Age - The Strokes

TPC.

2010-04-06T05:39:00.001-07:00

New album. Anticipating.

More To Lose - Seona Dancing

Inutella.

2010-04-02T22:30:00.000-07:00

Bakasyon at wala akong inatupag kundi pumapak ng Nutella. Maraming gustong gawin pero wala na atang mas nakakatamad pa sa gitna ng init, na maski paggalaw lang ay nakakaubos na ng lakas, tipong nagasta na lahat ng kinain ko sa pananghalian e ayoko pa ring kumilos. Nakakatamad maligo, magbasa, magcharge ng cellphone, magbukas ng computer! Magsulat! Wala. Walang silbi ang bakasyon bukod sa pagtungaga at paghintay sa araw ng trabaho na ayaw mo kailanman dumating.

Tokyo Storm Warning - Elvis Costello

Testing.

2010-03-31T01:40:00.001-07:00

Hello Sufy and your beautiful shades (and your beautiful face)

En Papier - These New Puritans

Katinuan.

2010-03-30T22:20:00.000-07:00

Masaya 'tong nagsisimula ulit. Unti-unti. Parang kahit hindi pa masyado maaliwalas sa pakiramdam medyo mabuti-buti na. Sana magtuloy-tuloy. Madali lang naman magbura, ang mahirap magsimula ulit. Di bale, sisikapin.

Nakakuha si Ayn ng tiket para sa amin sa Kings of Convenience mamaya. Excited ako nung nalaman kung pupunta sila rito pero ewan ko ba, bumalik na naman yung sakit ko. Masaya pa rin naman ako syempre. Sana lang walang tao at hindi masyadong maingay. Acoustic tapos sobrang ingay? Ang labo ata.

Natawa ako nung naisip kong manood ng The Devil's Whore ngayong mahal na araw. Pamagat pa lang. Pero teka, masama ba yun? Kesa naman mag-Sion Sono Suicide Club mode ako at panoorin ulit. O Battle Royale. O porn. Pero wag daw. Masama.

Hang the DJ edit. Second issue malapit na! Sa totoo lang wala pa masyadong nagpapasa. Ayos lang naman. Sana yung mga paborito kong tao ay magpasa. Dali na! At siyempre Lilok Pelikula. Medyo masulat ako nitong nakaraan. Nakakaadik din lalo na kung gusto mo yung sinusulat mo. Nagtataka lang ako sa ilang taong may pakialam sa akin masyado. Walang ibang hobby?

Anu't anuman, buhay pa rin ako. Madalas nakakalimutan ko yun. Gusto ko sanang maki-sing along mamaya kaso wala ata akong memorya ngayon.

I Just Sighed. I Just Sighed, Just So You Know - Los Campesinos!

Handa na.

2010-03-27T01:44:00.000-07:00

Good Intentions Paving Company - Joanna Newsom